If you have an addictive personality (like Rihanna above), then this post is not for you. A new post will be up in a few moments.
This post is for you single women who are intelligent, articulate and self-confident. But despite all of your achievements in life, you wonder why love hasn’t found you. But in reality, love is all around you. Love is an action, not a feeling. Love is a profound sense of responsibility and respect for another human being. So when you care for anyone in your life; your parents, your siblings, your nephews — you are experiencing love.
LOVE IS NOT S3X. No matter what that guy tells you; you do not prove your love to anyone by having sex with them!
So how can you tell the difference between Love vs Lust (Dopamine)?
Picture this: you’re a single woman, intelligent, articulate, self-supporting. You have your own place, your car is paid off. You have a good job. You just don’t have a man to share your life with, and you’re tired of your girlfriends reminding you of that.
One night, while out clubbing with your girlfriends, you meet a handsome man in the club. He seems too good to be true. He winks and smiles at you. He comes over and introduces himself to you and your friends. He buys you and your girls a round of drinks. But it is obvious that he is really only interested in you. After some small talk, he asks you for your number. When he calls you the next day, you like the fact that he kept his word to call you. He’s a good conversationalist. He sounds interesting on the phone. You want to get to know him better in person. He asks you out on a date. You quickly accept. Your date goes well. He makes you laugh and you feel at ease in his presence.
He says all the right things. He picks up the check for the dinner. He walks you to your car. He’s a gentleman. His smile makes you melt. You want to see him again. You can’t wait for his next phone call. The next day, when he does call, you feel giddy inside, you feel elated. A warm euphoria sweeps over you when he compliments you. You can’t get enough of him.
On your next date, you feel comfortable enough to accept his invitation to accompany him to his apartment, where you both have wild, passionate sex — with a condom, of course. You can’t believe how in tune he is with your body. He touches you in places you never thought existed.
Within a month, you’re already making plans to spend the rest of your life with him. You begin tossing hints at him that you “want more from the relationship.” You practically sit by the phone waiting for him to call. You can’t stop talking about him to your girlfriends. “HE’S THE ONE,” you tell them. You’re unable to put a name to what you’re feeling since you’ve never felt it before. So you assume you are in love.
You are wrong.
All of the feelings and emotions that I have just described are the result of what is called a Dopamine Rush. By now, you should be pregnant, but he used a condom. Nature has been foiled, you are not pregnant and the “gentleman” is gone. He got what he wanted. He’s moved on to his next target.
Why is that we women get so caught up in our emotions once the Dopamine starts flowing in our brains? It is because our primary purpose on this earth is to be fruitful and multiply.
But human beings are complex organisms with the ability to make decisions and choices, which makes us stubborn about who we have sex with. So in order to break down our sexual inhibitions, and to make sex happen fairly quickly, Dopamine was introduced into our brain chemistry around the start of the Stone Age.
Dopamine, along with other sensitive brain chemicals, targets the pleasure center in our brains. It’s Nature’s way of reminding us what pleases us, so that when we experience a certain trigger again, we will want more of it.
Dopamine is the science behind all addictions caused by “triggers” that elicit favorable responses from us. Triggers are substances or things such as drugs, food, alcohol, cigarettes, chocolate,
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